My New Year's Resolution: My Unwavering Resolve with a New Approach

In my 10-year-long pursuit of a career in game development and design, I sometimes find myself feeling somewhat like Sisyphus, an ancient Greek figure known for spending eternity pushing a large rock uphill. The rock, in my case, consists of distractions, zone out episodes, family matters, occasional computer maintenance, part-time bagging and cleaning duties, and money management. More often than not, I felt like my life is being wasted cleaning up after other people for a living, that my efforts to improve myself have all been for naught, and that I'm subconsciously being driven to insanity by being at a blue-collar job that's irrelevant to my career goals. Simply put, it would appear that I'm doomed to be at a dead end for the rest of my life without accomplishing anything that even remotely resembles a game design career. Yet still, I continue to find reasons to keep moving onward in my creative endeavors and I continue remind myself of my unwavering resolve to become a successful solo independent game designer no matter what the odds. In this regard, the only thing changing here is the approach to achieving my goal.

My New Year's Resolution: Continuing on my Indie Game Dev Career Path with A Few Updates and Adjustments

For a lot of people, the Holidays tend to be no different than any other days, except with gift exchanges, family dinners, and popping wine bottles in anticipation of the new year. In other words, the old year came and went, the new one unlikely to be any different depending on who you ask. It was no exception for me, either, mainly due to the lack of progress in my game development and design career despite my accumulation of resources, knowledge, inspiration, and ideas. It is unfortunate that I still have issues with time management, self-discipline, focus, and the various distractions in my life and at my computer. The one thing I've been least worried about is my current source of income, which is mainly acquired through my part-time job at the local supermarket.

Still living the dream, or at least continue trying to, anyway.

My New Year's Resolution: More of the Same, Just a Year Older

The first few weeks of the new year have just went by. Day after day, things have gone by just like any other day. As my Dad joked while dropping me off to work on a foggy, gloomy January 1, "The streets are the same. The houses are the same. Even the house numbers are the same. They're all just a year older." That joke basically sums up my pursuit of an independent game development career: unchanged beyond being a year older. As things stand, I still live here at home browsing the Internet, playing video games, reading a book or two, keeping my anxiety in check via medication, and work the same part-time job to generate income. I admit I've come a long way in striving to achieve my goal of attaining a career. I confess that I haven't done as much practice as I would've liked due to various circumstances, some beyond my control and others that are entirely my fault. There are still things I need to work on first before I can start game development on a more regular basis.

My New Year's Resolution: What Went Wrong in 2020 and How Things Could Be Better in 2021

In spite of all that's happened in 2020, I'm still here. Never giving up my goal to one day become a full-fledged independent game developer.

Let's face it: the year 2020 has sucked for a lot of us due to the COVID-19 pandemic. In one form or another, we have all felt the effects on our health, our sanity, and our daily lives by the virus, the media/Internet-fueled panic, and the various measures taken by this country's state governments in an attempt to prevent further infections. Many lives have been lost to the virus including those of our family and friends. Various businesses have been forced to adapt to various social distancing measures, sanitation protocols, and stay-at-home orders in order to keep running. The businesses that could not, including various nonessential ones like comic book shops and movie theaters, went under. Many people have had their jobs impacted or lost. And here I am just trying going about my daily life while also looking for ways to get my video game development career off the ground during this whole mess. And while me and my family have been fortunate enough to not be infected by COVID-19, I honestly wish things could've been better during 2020 in more ways than just staying healthy and sane.

My New Year's Resolution aka How I Plan to Move Forward in My Video Game Career

As you can probably guess, that me sitting in my makeshift studio office.

With the latest Christmas festivities behind and the first day of the new year upon us, most people would treat it like any other day by either going about their daily lives or just lazing around. Others would take the opportunity to reflect on the past year and set up new goals and resolutions as to what to do for the new year until the beginning of the next one. I myself am part of the latter, the resolution being to have a career in video game development and design. For 4 long years, I've been making these resolutions only to have some of my goals partially met and others having not been met at all. A majority of my attempts to meet my goals have been met with stagnation, procrastination, distractions, mental blocks, oversleeping, and numerous incidents of needless pacing, overflowing anxiety, and passive clicking on the Internet. The overall result of these setbacks has been the lack of progress and not much materials to add to my portfolio. Rather than wasting more of my time pounding a square peg into a round hole, I've spent a considerable amount of 2019 reminding myself of these setbacks, reflecting on what I've been doing wrong, collecting and absorbing new sources of inspiration for my video game ideas, keeping on top of what's going on in the video game industry via the Internet, planning new approaches to productivity, and thinking up ways I could discipline myself.